Last week's blog about the Torah Tumble prompted many of you to confess to similar sins. It sounds like a lot of people have been harboring guilt. Thank you all for sharing your religious boo boos--while I don't feel any better about dropping the Torah, at least I know I'm in good company.
I heard two even worse stories than mine about the Torah falling:
A friend of mine and her husband were given the honor of opening the ark on Rosh Hashanah. As you can imagine, the synagogue was packed for the High Holidays, and the Rabbi and the Cantor were up on the bimah with them. When my friends slid the doors to the ark open and the congregation rose, the Torah fell right out onto the floor.
Another friend sent me an article from the Forward about a congregation in Asheville, North Carolina, where they opened the ark on Yom Kippur and TWO Torahs fell to the floor! The silver crown was dented on one, and the wooden handle was broken on the second.
And I heard about two faith based blunders that were not Torah-related. One man was the chair of a luncheon for a rabbinical conference. When the hotel waitstaff brought out the lunch and served it to rabbis of all denominations from around the country, the salad was covered with shrimp.
And finally, the Sisterhood hospitality chair ordered cakes and cookies for the Oneg Shabbat at the Temple for the Friday night during Passover. One of the congregants called her to find out where she had ordered such delicious baked goods, as she had never enjoyed such tasty kosher-for-Passover treats. They discovered that all the baked goods served at the Temple during Passover were made with flour.
Boy, do I feel better!
In addition to your confessions, many of you also suggested remedies for me. The folks in Asheville are considering community service and charitable donations. A lot of you told me that the 40 day fast is the accepted norm, but is shared (one day at a time) by the entire congregation. My girlfriend suggested that a reasonable alternative to 40 days of fasting for me would be 40 days of Jenny Craig. (I can see the ad copy now: Drop the Torah and Drop 10 pounds!)
I received many messages of forgiveness from my friends, my mother, and even my old Hebrew school teacher. One friend said, "You didn't throw the Torah; it's not like you spiked the football." Well, yes, thank you, I appreciate the distinction.
Maybe this has been a good thing. I can't say that I've fasted or even cut out dessert, but I have been making a sincere effort to be more charitable and perform more mitzvot (good deeds.) Maybe it's not a bad thing to drop the proverbial Torah every now and then, and make a renewed effort to step up our charitable games.
But if some of you are about to call and ask me to pick you up from the airport at midnight, or help you pack and move, I'd love to but I'm busy that day.
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